"Seize!"

You've got me spoiled,
Far too much.
Days and days
Of waking
Surfacing,
Grumbling,
All of that,
To your
Pretty, pretty face
And your
Dancing, dancing eyes.
Tis getting a bit difficult
To kick Morpheus away
Without you
As my personal alarm clock.
Everyone else gets seduced
Into my bed
And the land of sleep
Or just ups and leaves.
You are the singular
Singularity
That stayed,
Reclining
On my couch.
Coaxing,
Threatening,
Laughing,
Me
Out of bed.
You are sitting,
Creeping subtly
Into my brain,
Telling me,
I must
'Seize the day'
Flinging open
Shutters,
Proclaiming
The weather today.
You are all about the
'Seizing'
I am all about the
'Maybes'
And between the tewo
I arise
Compromise
All because
Of your smiling/scowling face
And try
To seize the day. 

Green - NaPoWriMo 2

Directly inspired by my eternal muse- she's been slacking off on the job lately.


I never think about
The color Green
All that much.
I'm more of a
Blues, Blacks, Reds
Kind of person.
But often,
Unobtrusive as you please,
Green sinuously
Seeps,
Bleeds,
Into my vision;
And I remember
Verdant trees
Lush with leaves,
Green.
Nurdan's scarf,
A deepish warmth
Home and love and,
Green.
Comfort and coffee
Stories and Starbucks,
Green.
Rosie's trousers,
Unsual, bright, calming,
Green.
For secrets
And whispers
Spring and Summer,
Green.
Connemara Hills,
Scottish Lochs,
Green.
Your eyes,
Brightly, acidly, joyfully,
Green. 

Free Fall

'There are those moments when I am falling, never going to hit the bottom, and the world is too sharp and too clear and everything makes sense, in beautiful, painful detail. Just for that second.I think we live for moments like these and don't know how dead we were till they come along.'



I must confess that sometimes the shade of my sixteen year old self seems to spout of more sense than my soon to be twenty year persona could ever manage. Also, Archivedbook.com is an amazing site to visit if you are in masochistic mood and fancy the thought of a third party casually strolling through the last five years or so of your Facebook history. I have come up with some absolute shite and some absolute gems from my status updates. From the dawn of SMS CAPSLOCK 4EVA language to the quote mentioned above.

 My second First year is drawing to a close and exams are looming in the distance and all I can think of is why I can never get my hands on a Blue Edition Red Bull can. Priorities, I am so getting you right.

My head has been buzzing far too much lately. But today, I got up half three and ambled over to Emma's room. Went down to tea, learned to play Hot Cross Buns of the piano and then ambled yet again to Emma's room. I amble around a lot.

And now my head is quiet, real quiet.

There is a tree I can see from Emma's window. It all bare and scrawny and slightly sad looking at the moment. I like it, it reminds me of another sad,scrawny tree I knew once upon a time.

I am falling today. I am in free fall and the its never going to end and everything is white and bright and clear and suddenly I know why I came across half the world for a degree I am still not sure I should be doing. Its because Rosie taught me how to play Hot Cross Buns in the piano and Nurdan playing the Cloud Atlas Sextet makes me cry and because Emma's hair catch the sunlight and I have always wanted to catch the sunlight. It might be because Nusrat laughs so much and dances when she is in the mood for it and I have to go on tippy toes to hug Lachie and Hannah never reacts to my comments no matter how outrageous I make them.

All I want to know is whether we make ourselves in the images of people we see or is it that people hold up mirrors around us all the time and we make ourselves into what these mirrors reflect?

I am still falling.

I don't know how to love people long term. Every time I try the whole I shall love you forever, it doesn't work. People are forever getting in the way of Forever. And there are people back in India I'd love forever, but it never works out because they don't do forever and even if they did, they are no longer the people I promised Forever too. Is an oath still an oath if the person you made it to is now no longer the person you made it to? So there are some new people I'd like to promise Forever to but I don't think I can and that is very sad. If we never met after 3 years and went our separate ways it wouldn't diminish what we are in the here and now,would it? No, the present must never be compared to the future, that would be just too cruel for words. But that is a little sad that there is no one who stays Forever. But it makes me happy too, because Forever has too many obligations in it and I am no longer young enough to believe I can fulfill them all.


This all is such a ramble in the woods of pretty words that mean nothing. I think its because words hardly mean anything most of the time.

I am still falling.


But when I stop falling, there are people who are watching Australia in a room where time means nothing. For the time being.

It's good to be falling.

Omelettes- NaPoWriMo Poem 13

Written in honor of the various Omelettes made during the course of my Ireland trip. Also, for my general love of them. Inspired and addressed to my eternal muse, Emma. No, not you Nurdan. You know why.


'I could try
To juggle
These eggs'
I said.
Merely too see
The alarm
Flash through your eyes.
We are making
Omelettes today.
Omelettes mean
Privacy, my kitchen
And home.
This situation
Has none of the
Above ingredients
Needed for
The perfect
Omelette.
What we have is
Lachie's pursed up lips
Your calm eyes
My egg making skills
In a tiny kitchen
In a city
We don't belong to.
These are a new
Kind of omelettes
Of a new kind of
Friendship.
Lets put
Laidbackness
Moonshine laughter
Adventure
Comfort
And the odd cuddle in
To see
What these
Omelettes
Taste like.
A bit like us,
I suppose.
But not in a
Cannibalistic way

Diamond Hill - NaPoWriMo Poem 12

Written after probably the craziest climb of my life. Yet. Knowing Emma and Lachie, I shall be dragged up various more soon enough. This was Diamond Hill in Connemara National Park, by the way.


I'd be the first to go
In a zombie apocalypse
I am convinced of it
After my pitiful attempt
To scale Diamond Hill
Over by Connemara way
If you are interested.
512 m of HELL-
-All 7 circles of it.
And the rage
At seeing your two
Companions skip
Like bloody mountain goats.
While I,
Panting, breathless
Legs give out,
I think the world
Grows dark
Or the sun hid
Behind a convenient cloud
My companions wait
For me to scale
And I promise
All the gods
That ever were
No more McFlurries!
I hear Olympian laughter
In return.
Just a little more
Of this unending agony
Till I gain
The summit.
I would say
The view
Was worth it
But I am too busy dying
To notice
Just yet.

That Dress Looks Nice on You (Part 2) - NaPoWriMo Poem 7

The final three parts of this two part poem. Continuing on the them of dresses and such.


"Tomatoes and Dappled Streams"

You blush so well
I could lay a trail
Up your neck
Across your face
Of you turning
The same shade
As that hoodie
You say is a jumper.
Your dappled stream eyes
Flutter far too close
And fill me and the world
With laughter and 'youness'
A special brand of jubilance.


"Bumblebees and Butterflies"

You are like the bumblebees
The songwriters of 1960s Bollywood
Compared their heroines too.
Cheerful and bright
And essential
To any romantic song.
You are the butterfly
I chased in childhood
Seeing you cloaked in a yellow sari
I am wonder-struck at how you personify home.
The second line I ever said to you
'You know how it feels like!'
Still does and will always hold true.


"Cuddly, Fuzzy and Grey"

You don't let me in
To your warm
And cozy room.
You say I'll steal
Your blankets and clothes.
But you always
Have the fuzziest, warmest
Hug to cuddle into.
Especially that grey jumper
That will be mine one day.
I used to think it was the clothes
But it is the deep warmth of you
That beats the Edinburgh chill, any day.

That Dress Looks Nice on You(Part 1) ( I stole the title from a Song) NaPoWriMo Poem 6

This group of poems- both Part 1 & 2 are written for some of the most special people in the world, who made University life what it actually is. This blog was started for them and its about time I introduced them to this blog and the world. They are my Sunshine and Skies and Happiness and World in Edinburgh. So, in no particular order, here goes.


"Queen of Hearts"

You have always been
A vision.
And you suit
Silver shimmer
And brocade.
The quickness of your temper.
And the flashing of your eyes
Are all combined
In the pout
Of your smiles
Of your guiles
And your
Oh so organized Files.


"Cornfields and Blue Skies"

'Your hair are
 Like a cornfield',
 When you wear
 The sky so blue
 About your
 Popping shoulders
 You are
 So very much you
 Now when
 I think of Sunshine
 And cloudless skies
 And summer days
 I think of you.


"Cream and Peaches"

You must think
Me; Full of odd notions
When I declare
You a fairytale.
But I once read of
A princess
With kind eyes
And a heart that
Overflowed love
Like a frothy cream jug.
Like you, she too would flush
When complimented too much-
- Twirling her fairytale skirt.

Shall We Begin?

Too little sleep, too much nagging, a lingering sense of guilt and a vague feeling of discontent- perfect recipe for a witching hour blog.

I don't really expect any one to read this- except perhaps the people I am going to write about. I have been a self proclaimed 'writer' from the wise old age of 10.  But this, here and now is the first time I have ever felt the tug to write about something- for an extended period of time, that is. To keep a chronicle as it were. Maybe it's the city, maybe it's the people around me and maybe it is a painfully cliche coming of age at Uni kind of a thing. I just feel, that if we ever to live to be old and bald - there should be a memory of us. Who we were and the wonder that was us. Or at least the wonder we thought we were.

I am writing about them, you see. And maybe I am writing about you. And maybe about me. Maybe I am writing to reconcile the maybes in my head.

This. Here. Now.

I am writing about some awfully big adventures. What else matters, but that?